japan times

cazzi tuoi

2008-02-08T01:31:00.001-08:00

the italians, between periods of living in garbage, say 'cazzi tuoi'. literally it means, 'your balls'. in english we say 'sucks for you'. yeah. cazzi miei. i wonder what they say in japanese? actually they probably don't say it; being japanese they live it. try this! drive your car into a little river. stand next to it, in the snow. watch people drive by, drive by, drive by. they all look at the car, look at you and then break eye contact and pretend like you don't exist. cazzi tuoi, motherfucker. yeah. hey japan. fuck you dude! you guys are so polite, except when you are a bunch of fucks. fucking borg, except instead of flying around absorbing others, you just want to go shopping and melt your brains with television. oh yeah, and work way to many hours a day at jobs you can't like. yeah... japan...
now if someone KNOWS you, hell they will help you out no problem! but 'good samaritans?' i have yet to meet a japanese person whom i could describe using that cliche expression. good samaritan means someone who helps a stranger. ain't happening here, unless you put pressure on someone to help you.
a japanese person tried to explain to me: "jason it's because, well, they couldn't pull your car out of the river!" yeah. i know that. but they could slow down, roll the window down, and find out if someone is in trouble. they could offer to call the police. i understand that a society can function without that, but i'm from a place where, if your car falls off the world, and you stand in one spot long enough, some loud mouthed motherfucker stops and say, "HEY BUDDY, YOU ALRIGHT?!"

yeah! yeah, i'm alright! i didn't break anything. thanks though, yeah.. yeah i have a cell phone here, yeah thanks for the offer. no,, yeah.. yeah you're the fourth person to offer in the last ten minutes, no man, thanks. thanks! bye!"

Response to Trent Reznor on the NiggyTardust data.

2008-01-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

The latest from NiN.com is this.
http://www.nin.com/index.html#4978432809979160079

I'm glad that Trent showed us some numbers, something I don't think Radiohead has done yet.

So here you go. Saul Williams' previous 2004 album sold 33,897 copies.
The internet release was downloaded 154,449 times.
28,322 were paid for. That is, $5.
$5 x 28,322 = $141,610.

Now assuming every payment was made through PayPal, and PayPal's current fee for accepting credit card payments (for a business) is:

$0.00 USD-$3,000.00 USD	3.4% + $0.30 USD
$3,000.01 USD-$10,000.00 USD	2.9% + $0.30 USD
$10,000.01 USD-$100,000.00 USD	2.7% + $0.30 USD
> $100,000.00 USD	2.4% + $0.30 USD

Phew. OK, I am going to assume that the NiggyTardust album sold $10k - $100k per month. So.... 2.7% of $141,610 is $3,823.47, PLUS $0.30 each sale, so $0.30 x 28,322 = $8496.60...
What the fuck, is this right? Am I messing up on the math? $12,320.07 went to PayPal (under the assumption that EVERYONE bought the record using PayPal)???

Wow.... I want to be PayPal....

OK, so...
After paying PayPal Niggy runs home with $129,289.93
Now, I am under the impression that Trent Reznor, having produced the album, paid some big dollars. How much? I have no idea! But let us assume... 50k?
And then there is the web hosting. I have absolutely no idea how much that cost you, and I am curious as to why you didn't put that information up on your blog post.

They are still going home with more money than I'll be making this year. And cooler jobs, I think.

So now let me get to the part where I wonder about Trent's blog post... he said that since Saul's 2004 album sold about 30k copies and the new one was downloaded 150k times, but only paid for by 28k people, that means only 18% decided to pay. OK.... true.
But then he goes on to say that since they didn't do much marketing, he assumes that the majority of the people downloading the album were previous NIN or Saul Williams fans.

Now Trent... maaaaybe that's true. Maybe. But you've got to remember, this is the Internet bro! I know that when that album came out, I was posting the news all over websites whose readers didn't give a shit about NiN (I wanna fuck you like an animal?), and much less about Saul Williams (who?). But... here's what those websites had in common:
The readers log on to see what's new today.
Free album? Whaaat?
That's what got them. Sure name recognition played a part, but what got most people was the idea of Choose Your Path payment option on an album. So they visited the site. And they said...... "Who the fuck is Saul Williams?"
Sorry. But that's what they said. Because they are computer folk. And they listen to disgusting shit like Dave Mathews etc. And they were not about to gamble their $5. So they downloaded for free, PROMISING themselves (yeah right) that if they liked the album, they would come back and pay the $5.

It's my personal opinion that somewhere around 80 - 90% of those people said, "What the fuck is this, is this really music?" because that album sure as hell was not Dave Mathews. That was a seriously good album. So, those taste testers chose Pepsi, and Coke made no money that day. Then the other people, the ones who actually still listen to the album? Yeah... they probably forgot to go back and pay their $5.

So, I is my belief that the people who DID pay the $5 came in a couple categories.

I got moneys, whatever. Here's $5. I don't even care about the music.
I have got to support something like this, no matter what!
I love Trent. Who is Saul? Errrh... here's $5. Trent.. call me!
I love Saul. Of course here is my $5.

So, Saul, Trent... why didn't this album sell more copies?
Why didn't you do more marketing than some obscure Internet posts?

It's my belief that you wanted to tell the fans. You were paying for bandwidth costs OUT OF POCKET. And you didn't want every American teenager on MySpace to come grab the album for free, smashing your bandwidth. Pretty good call.

I also think you wanted to see how far news would spread by itself.

Point is... I think this album was a success. If you and Saul aren't happy, I'll tell you what. I will produce my own album. Won't be good, but you won't pay a dime! Then I'll give you the album, and we'll make a website where we will offer it for $5 or Free. Then you post on you blog advertising my album. Oh, and you have to say I'm a really great guy or whatever. Let's see how many people pay for it. You can keep 90% of the profits. I'd be happy just to pay my rent this month.

P.S.: ~~~~Trent.... call me!

Fart Day

2007-09-28T03:33:00.001-07:00

Later in the same day I'm at a different school with a 6th grade class. At one point early on somebody farts. The kids are all sitting on the floor. A hardwood floor. And all the walls are made of a reverberating material. It was something else. I look up to see what the sound was and realize that it was a fart, and that it was the girl over on the right who is blushing and whose friends are all giggling and looking at her. She doesn't see me, she's looking at the floor. I look away so that she doesn't notice that I know. I'm saving it. Like saving a fart. For timing. And potency. Sure, I could say "haha! you farted!" but I would look like an asshole, and the delivery.. please.

I take them all to the gymnasium and make them jump an one foot from one hula-hoop to another reciting the days of the week. Hah. Ok, keep that up for the next ten minutes. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday...
I am tired as hell and sit down. At one point Farty and her friends are looking at me laughing. I guess they caught me nodding off. I look Farty in the eyes, lift a butt cheek up, and say "phoOOT!" Which is Japanese for PBBBBBT! She fucking dies. Pulls out a handkerchief to hold over her face in shame. Mua haha.

God Damn

2007-09-28T03:32:00.000-07:00

So about once a month I get to teach a 2nd grade class. That was today at one of my smaller schools. The Japanese teacher decided (I can't remember why) to teach the kids "God Damn!". What the hell do you say to that? I'm trying to teach these littel monkeys to say Big Elephant and Small Monkey and shit... and Dude starts teaching them God Damn! Hum.

yesterday

2007-06-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

yesterday at the grocery store i saw a lady with a shirt that said MILKFED.
i wanted to explain what she had written across her breasts... but i just couldn't.

oh yeah, every saturday for the last 3 weeks i've been trying to bike up this mountain! i got all the way up yesterday woohoo!

BOngo Soda

2007-05-23T03:36:00.000-07:00

ok. i don't know why. but i bought that soda. that retarded, ill looking drink. i thought.... it looks so nasty, that it must secretly be delicious! i was wrong. it tastes like the concoction of a 9 year old, after he has gotten a hold of a cherry soda, a bag of sugar, and maple syrup. it's nasty. but get this.

i'm driving home, and i keep smelling a hint of body odour. i'm like, what the hell... is the wind hitting me just right and blowing my armpit into my nose? then i realize i only smell it RIGHT after i drink some of the soda. so i try again. inhale, sip sip drink, exhale through my nose. B.O.

somehow this drink makes you smell body odour after every sip. it's something special.

暇町舞鶴

2007-05-21T13:57:00.001-07:00

if you read this, sorry i never write. but there is not much going on that is interesting. let's see... i need to find No-Doz, still trying to get a gp2x, and one of the 6 schools i go to sucks. and i have to go there two days of the week. bleah! most of the schools are tiny redneck schools and they're so much fun! oysh. but at the end of the day at this school i always feel like a shithead. and yesterday i think i was dehydrated to boot. so that made for a really super crappy day. oh, here's a pic of an Asian Hornet, jordan! i was a hero at 中舞鶴小学校 when i put this guy back out the window.

mainichi

2007-05-09T01:09:00.000-07:00

so everyday i wake up around 5am and put rice and vegetables in the cooker and pop a no-doz. chill out and get to whichever school before 8:20. today i got there at like, 7:30. the only people there was the vice principal, the tea lady, and two teachers. i think i got bonus points. today was cool. the classes (5th and 6th graders) were really nice and willing to participate. yesterday was hell. it was at the big school, four 6th grade classes. only the last class was willing to really participate. i felt like such a loser. but today was fun. monday was a picnic. company calls me over the weekend and says, no lessons on monday. just go to school, and you will go on a picnic. so that's sweet, i'm thinking. so i show up and all the teachers are dressed for like, gym practice. i didn't bring gym clothes, because there is no recess today. it's picnic day. i'm dressed per the company dress code, and now i'm wondering... what is a picnic in japanese elementary school....? i start talking to one guy, who tries to explain. after a while i say, in my best engrish, hikingu? aaah, yes, hiking! picnic! oh for crying out loud. a picnic means that you basically walk across the entire city, and have lunch. then walk back. it takes all day. it's a long, walk. i try to express my stupidity in japanese to the teacher i'm hanging out with, basically aw crap! i should have worn different clothes! well... i guess in japan this is a polite way to ask someone for clothes. i was just trying to tell him i felt like a moron and would be suffering for it. different culture. so is like, oh, you will be cold! and runs to get me a sweater and a shortsleeve shirt. yeah... i'm sure i'll need a sweater. dude i'm stinky gaijin! i actually sweat when i walk across the city! today some kids told me that i'm stinky. how do i explain that my sweat glands are fully functional. lucky bastards.

Golden Week

2007-05-06T04:51:00.000-07:00

Basically Japanese Spring Break.

ok, get this. you know how on Sunday, places tend to be closed? maybe not so much in the states, but in a lot of countries, going grocery shopping on sunday is a big whoops.

well in japan it's totally different! different stores have their own 'closed' days. so... if you go out to buy shoes on thursday, and the store you go to ends up closed, you just head to another shoe store, and chances are it's open. 6/7 chance that the store you go to is open on any given day. well... that rocks. and then there's golden week.

everybody goes on vacation at once.

if only they did it like their weekly day off. if only every prefecture got a different week off, so as to balance the load over several weeks.

nope. everybody is doing the tourist thing. if i'm ever in japan for another golden week, i will spend it somewhere remote. somewhere where nobody goes on golden week.

i have been in this bubble of asian for so long... i went to kyoto on wednesday and saw so many caucazoid skulls that i got a headache. it's so awkward. you walk bye someone, you both look at each other. both feel the urge to give some sort of signal. "yes, i see you. you look like me." but you can't. you just walk by. so craZ.

pics.

病気

2007-04-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

uhg. i think i'm sick. well, i know i'm sick. so yeah. bleeh.

anyone know of a PayPal alternative? i tried using it in japan and got my account suspended for hacking or something. i guess it's nice that they did it in a way... it would be nice if that had happened if someone had been trying to steal my moneys. so i'm not complaining! but i wanna buy a gp2x or whatever it's called. urrrg.

koko

2007-04-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

ok.... how do i begin...

so this was the first week of classes. i go to the schools and do the classes. it's mostly introduction, and getting the little monsters used to the big monster. one of the schools wanted the local coordinator (helper lady) to come with on the first day, so that the kids could ask questions that would be translated.
the first group was 5th grade. good kids! a little bit older, so they were calm and well behaved. but young enough to be able to have some fun and participate. next was the 6th grade. bam. quiet. a lot harder to get these kids to participate and ask questions, but it's cool. after that was the third grade! now, i will only be regularly teaching 5th and 6th, but the school wanted the 3rd and 4th to get a chance to meet me too. well... these kids hadn't the time to sit on their bums and ask questions. after about ten minutes they wanted to show me. show me everything. "look what i can do!" *cartwheel* "look at me!" *does a split* etc. etc. really fun to watch though. =D after that was lunch, and after that...... well....

ok... 4th grade. i start it out like the other 3. 'My name is! My name is... My, Name, Is, Jason!' "dare?"(who?) yells one kid. everyone laughs. fak. it's off to a bad start. even the 3rd grade could sit and listen to me for a bit. i think it may have had something to do with their teachers. the 4th grade teacher was new and didn't have any control over the kids. well, that's cool! it's just one day, and they won't remember it after a day or two anyways. the goal isn't to teach these guys english in one day, it's to get them used to seeing me around the school. (although the teacher didn't realize that. he thought this was their great opportunity to learn some english! moron! one day and they will have skillz yeah!) so this class was chaos, but it didn't get to me. until...

sigh. ok lemme just go ahead and give some examples of the 'interview' section. the kids ask questions, they are translated if i can't understand them, and then i try to answer in japanese, and if i can't, then it's translated back to them. most questions were:
what's your favorite food?
what's your hated food?
do you like anime?
what's your favorite animal?
favorite color?
favorite food? (again)
i like apples.
etc. etc. etc.

they ask the questions, i answer. next class the kids ask the same, exact questions. ha ha... i'm already ready for that! how many times did i tell them my favorite food? (i just said ramen, because they can relate to it.) but then....
4th graders...
9 years old? 8 years old?
a little girl, sitting on the floor. she has the 'outgoing' look that 8% of the girls have. the rest stare at the floor or have the 'fear/surprise' look.

i like the outgoing look, when i see it i am relieved, because i really want the girls to participate. so seeing this girl, i think, 'sweet. i can use her to participate to keep the boys from getting to ask the same questions about sports the whole time'

so she asks some questions. one here, one there... about the fourth time i call on her.. she asks me a question that nobody had asked yet.

'what's your favorite body part?'
i don't know the japanese for 'body part' so all i heard was "favorite ***** what is?"
look to the translator. "ah... she asked... what is the favorite part of the body?"

'ooooh..... hmmmmmm.... wow, good question....' what the hell? hair? feet? is there an answer to this question? eyes? i'm trying to think fast. nose? i've got a big gaijin nose... i could say nose! that might be funny...? is this a normal question? what would they say?' normally when asked a question that i don't have an answer i ask it right back. "who is your favorite japanese baseball player?" 'ooh, who is YOURS?' "ooh, ichiro of course" 'wow, me too!' "oh.. cool" so i am standing there rubbing my chin for about 13 seconds, making the 'hrrmmn' sounds. too long. the crowd grows restless. some start talking. the translator has gone off and started talking to kids. wtf? the little girl is looking me right in the eyes with the 'outgoing look' and tilts here head and smiles. she pats her crotch with both hands, once, and then twice. 'Koko?' (here?) my brain turns around backwards in my skull.

awhaaaeaeeeewhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa???!????

i look at the translator. she's gone. i look around. everyone's playing. and some nine year old girl just asked me "here? this is your favorite body part?"

what. the. fuck!?

i was prepared for kancho, my bicycle butt is impervious to it!
i was prepared for kids who didn't care.
i was prepared for hyper Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Boy.
but i was not, prepared, for this.

funny shit.

Barber

2007-04-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

just got back from a haircut. no. i just got back from THE haircut. dude & wife barbershop. i walk in, and ask how much. i had heard rumors of 2,000 yen haircuts. not here, baby! 3,000-4,000 yen, he tells me. shit! $35 haircuts? my first paycheck doesn't come for another month, i just paid $2000 for a car, and the $2000 company loan (with 1% intrest.... nice...) i took out still hasn't come in! and now i'm going to pay $35 for a haircut. this was a first for me. they ask me where i'm from. i say 'huh'? they ask again. they're using the ultimate humble crazy conjugation or something, because it just sounds like koobity-kabbitu to me. but i venture a guess, and ask, in the simple informal, 'where am i from'? 'yeaaah' they answer. i tell them the schpeil. i'm Hoping that they will get the picture and drop the complicated forms, because i'm talking like a freaking baby here. i mention that where i come from a haircut is about $13. that interested them a bit. but no, i'm not getting a haircut, i'm getting.... well....
he starts cutting the hair, meticulously going over every strand on my head, to make sure it's perfectly even. then he combs my head with this rubber thing, like some head massage or something. then more cutting. more. more. took so long. then out comes the straight blade. shaves the neck. gels my face and puts a hot towel on. ok, he's going to shave my face. cool. right?

understatement. he shaves my ears. then behind my ears. then he lathers up my forehead wait wait, wtf! and shaves my frigging forehead, then my temples, my eyebrows, and my nose! then he shaves what we'll call the lower part of my face. then he goes back to the nose. i'm like, what the heeell he's gonna cut off my face i just know it. shaving is done. brushes me off. for like 2 or 3 minutes. wants to get every hair i guess. then it gets really interesting.

does my hair with some alcohol based stuff, and goes crazy scratching, patting, combing, ruffling, slapping splashing EVERY SINGLE VERB to my head. then he starts punching and slapping and karate chopping everything above my neck. then he gives me two super karate chops to each shoulder. i'm like, what the mother frak is this!? it all hurt, but afterwards i felt so awake and refreshed. 'Masaji' he tells me. yeah, sure was.

so. $36 haircut. fun! before i could leave they had to tell me how great my hair was, and wanted pictures. crazy time.

first class

2007-04-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

today was my first class! pretty wild stuff. i think it's the largest school that i will be teaching at. scary at first but all was well in the end. this one kid Chidori'd me so much! I tried to Rasengan him but forgot the word for clone techinque, and the Rasengan fell apart in my hand. i need to learn to control it! ah well, Sharingan always works.

quoteable afterschool quotes:

you are father?
married?
penis?
six inch penis?
penis?
penis?
your penis?
sekuso?
sekusu?
sexsu?
sex?
you did sex?

at that point i said Jya Na! and left.

allora

2007-04-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

got internet. my first class is tomorrow. it's about time yo! i got a car. basically the company is giving me a $2000 loan, which i use to buy the car. then every month a little of my pay is held back to pay for the loan, and at the end of the year, if i haven't broken contract, they give me a $2000 bonus. and i can keep/sell the car. sweet deal.

yesterday i went to a picnic barbecue. that was fun. the u.s. navy has been in port here for the last few days. i haven't seen people running around in baggy clothes like that for so long. i'm so accustomed to seeing japanese that caucazoid facial structure look crazy neanderthal to me! my nose has never felt bigger.

thursday i went to all my schools ( 6 ) to be introduced to the principal and staff etc. little kids all over the place, all wide eyed and slack jawed. 'what the hell is THAT thing?'

oh, i've been playing around with an1me stud1o pro [prtdappzgetl33tsp33k]. so check it out, it has bones, so you can rig up characters just like maya. and the scripting language is hella powerful. there are some sample scripts included. one of them is driving a bone's rotation to the amplitude of a soundtrack. the particle system is also pretty damn sweet. here's a little thing i put together, everything is particles except for the orange dial, which is driven by the music. oh yeah, and exporting this (1000+ particles) took not long at all. Please give this a try and let's make something haaha
http://www.kintovision.com/trippy.mov

p.s.: sorry for being out of touch but it's been hella difficult without internet. i downloaded skype. anyone?

finalmente!

2007-04-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

finally got the cell phone and the laptop to go at it! harder than convincing pandas to fuck.

picturessssss

pics

2007-03-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

apartment?

2007-03-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

well the guy who is moving out of the apartment that i am moving into has started moving his stuff to the Business Hotel Wave, where i have been living for almost a week. i bought most of his furnishings for 30,000 yen... $300. one of the delightful appliances that i will soon be using is a microwave/mini oven! mua ha haaaa... yeah. well let's see... have i anything actually interesting to say?

i went to a brick museum. yes, a brick... museum. it has bricks from all over the world. there are some interesting exhibits, such as:
Origin of bricks
Bricks from all the world over
What is Brick?
The history of bricks in Japan
The City of Maizuru and its Bricks
The future of bricks
Playland
Thinking about bricks
Brick Exhibition Hall
Famous brick buildings in Japan whose photographs are exhibited with their bricks

So basically.... what the hell. Bricks. uhhhg.

But after the brick museum we took the scenic route back and found the steps to a shrine. We climbed them and behind the shrine was a little path up the mountain. We climbed and climbed and at the top of the mountain is another tiny shrine. I wish I could get my camera photos onto the computer... it's getting ridiculous! Well maybe I could bite the bullet and just email them to myself, incurring a nice data transfer fine from the mobile phone provider... but you know that that's against everything that is Jason! gha! I bought one of the nicer phones with a 3mega pixel camera and 1gig internal storage... but i can't use it! ghaaa! oh well i will get it working eventually. it has a MiniSD slot so maybe i can buy a MiniSD card and transfer everything to that, then transfer it to the computer. Bleah! So stupid! the phone has a USB cable, but it's set up to not be recognized as a storage device by the computer! Gheeeeaaaaaah! ok i broke down and emailed a picture to myself (so retarded.) here is a tiny 40k version (fullsize was 750k so i downsized it then emailed it to myself)

yesterday

2007-03-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

ok so i forgot to write about the crazy stuff that happened yesterday.

we had to go to the post office (which in japan is also a state bank) to open our post/bank accounts. kristin and i stepped out at one point to get some coffee from the vending machines outside. so we are about to go back into the Yuubinkyoku when this lady slides up on her bicycle blocking our path. looking at us with a face of recognition and amusement she asks from whence we come. america, we respond. she then goes on to tell us how much she loves germany and how her son studied economics. oh, and that someone she works with went to MIT and studied psychology? she tells me how well her german teacher speaks japanese, and asks me for 'give and take'. apparently this means that she teaches me japanese and i teach her english, but i suspect that it actually means she talks for hours on end about crazy things and i listen politely. so we escape from that situation and head to the keitai store.

ok so apparently keitai (japanese cell phones) all have TV on them now. however this feature only functions in the larger cities at the moment. so my phone has this huge antennae that may have no function. well that's not important. what IS important is that every technical question i could ask about all the available phones in the au store (au is a mobile phone company) returned with crazy answers. can't be THAT bad, right? check this:

ok so here is one phone that is being advertised for it's large LCD screen. the bullet points also include "3.2 megapikusuru" which is obviously megapixels. great. i know what that means. but i'd like to compare it to another phone. so i ask how many megapikusuru this other, cheaper phone has (mind you i am asking through a translator, so the lack of a good answer is not due to my poor japanese skills). so, how many megapixels does THIS phone's camera have? answer? "this phone doesn't have that technology." apparently the cute but overly made-up (min. 2mm make up on the face and 35 grams of eyeshadow per eye) salesgirl doesn't understand that megapiksuru is a measurement. no.. she thinks it's some sort of unique technology that this particular phone has utilized. whatever. so i point out that all the display phones are just that, displays. none of them are real phones, so you can't actually try them out and see if their features suck. so i ask if there are real models i can play with. nope. nooope. nope. ok... so basically i am being asked to shell out about US$200 on a phone and HOPE it is what i want, based solely on the plastic display models. uuuuuh boy. so i put my chip on the table and spin the wheel, and i'm now the proud, but slightly confused owner of the W51SA. well... it will have TV in december..... :D

then it happens.

HE walks in.

it's "samurai joe" okada! "arguably Japan`s most famous modern day Samurai." well, i guess. anyways we walks in and we are like, who is this crazy dude? then he asks us to be on TV. what is going on here? he gets our phone numbers and gives us some magazine showing him on the david letterman show. so maybe he will call. how exciting. "yeah, i was on japanese tv. doing what? uhmm well... see i walked around looking like a dumb tourist.... and then this guy called samurai joe cut an apple on my head." oh, but his english was great!

phone day

2007-03-27T04:45:00.000-07:00

today was our phone day. we got japanese cell phones, keitai. but my computer does not recognize the phone and the drivers that came with it won't work on the OS... japanese only, it says as an error message. pissing me off! it has 1gig of storage, but won't cooperate with the computer! so what the hell man! what's the use?

Maizuru

2007-03-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

I got into Maizuru a few days ago. I am in a hotel until Saturday. I saw the apartment that I'm moving into yesterday. One room and some kitchen space. And calling it kitchen space is like calling Shoko's tube of toothpaste a tube of toothpaste. Small.. haha. I can't wait to get out of hotels, feels so weird. humina humina, not really much to say. Today is a holiday so everything is closed down. I was supposed to get my alien registration card, bank account and cell phone today, but I doubt that that's actually happening. Really frustrating trying to communicate with people, because I can't understand shit! Gaah! I held the door for some girl yesterday and the way they reacted leads me to believe that it may have been the first time in her life. Oh, and I saw a guy wearing a turquoise jumpsuit, white adidas sneakers, and a towel... yes a towel as a hat. It was basically a DoRag... but the fabric was towel fabric. Apparently this was a totally cool look because he acted like a hardass, but I was holding in laughter. Oh, and another funny one... a guy with a shoulder bag, but the bag said Commanders Wife or something. Basically walking around with a bag labeling him as a wife. So funny.

moving training jimminy cricket

2007-03-21T04:40:00.000-07:00

phew! it's 8:45. that's the earliest i've gotten to finish a day so far. i flew out of tampa at 7am on sunday. i arrived in narita, japan at 1:30pm monday. granted there was a crazy time shift. 13 hour difference i guess.

so on monday i landed and exchanged my money for yen. like, a lot of it. like, a fat stack of bills. and they're like, oh yeah, this is normal for here, nobody robs you. whatever man, carrying all that money is scary! so i take a bus to a hotel where they had me staying, i check in and take the longest chill out bath and then go back to the lobby to meet all the people coming in from the airport. we head out and take the bus to town and eat dinner. at this point i was really freaking out from the refusal of eye contact from strangers. so we had a crazy shoeless dinner and then walked around, the sake forming a fishbowl that encircled our heads. get back to the hotel and got to sleep around 11pm.

woke up at 4am. went back to bed. woke up at 5am. went back to bed. woke up at 6am. got dressed, went down to have an awesome breakfast and then backed the bags. 8:25 a group of about 15 people -including myself- catch a bus at the hotel, head for the airport/train station. we take the train to tokyo (remember this is a cow herd of 15 noob ass gaijin with suitcases running around lost in a bus station) and then we board the shinkansen... er i mean we MISS the shinkansen to Mishima station, Hamamatsu. so we take another Shinkansend on which we have no reserved seats but it was not crowded at all (monday circa noon). so, now we're in Hamamatsu and we walk to our next hotel, drop off our stuff and go to lunch. after that we go to this like, office place where i guess you can rent a room for a day and we have orientation until about 8pm.

at this point me and this guy Kellen go to a tiny ass ramen shop. Kellen and i are standing outside of the shop for like 5 minutes, afraid to go in. finally he pushes me in and the fun begins. the cook's lip is just twitching like an electronic toothbrush and the only other patron was right out of a comic book. we had good ramen and some lessons in japanese. this made me feel really great because up to this point i felt as if i was dirt to every japanese, but the comic book guy was all smiles and would look us in the eye and explain words. so that was a relief and now i feel a lot more comfortable. so, after food we head back to the hotel massimo and hit the sack.

next morning i'm up at 4am. go back to sleep. wake up at 6 and get dressed and head down to the lobby. breakfast is coffee bread and yogurt. pretty good though. 9am we all meet at the rented office space again and do training till 6pm. then we head to dinner, me, kellen, matt, and oh hell those are the only names i can remember. but there were 4 other people and they are all cool kids. but none of that is even noteworthy compared to this. matt tells us this story. i don't even know if i can express the insanity.... basically all the stress of this adventure, and all the new people and experiences... well when you hear funny shit you laugh... and you laugh hard and painfully. i've only experienced it once before and that was in Sicily under nearly identical circumstances. but as far as Matt's story... i can't tell it. i will definitely post a link to it if i can convince him to put it online. it is so funny and sad and every emotion all at the same time but multiplied by the circumstances of our situation (strangers among ourselves, in a strange country, in a strange country). but holy god i almost threw up crying laughing the story was so crazy.

anyways, now it's 9:05 and i am going to bed. it's going to be awesome sleeping. peace.

this just in

2007-03-19T00:56:00.000-07:00

ok i just arrived in japan. this is crazy bizzaro world i'm telling you.

Merry Christian

2007-01-27T19:16:00.000-08:00

Ora comincia

2007-01-25T15:40:00.000-08:00

OK, apparently I'm going to Japan to teach English. What the hell was I thinking? Anyways, you're all invited to come visit, any time. Just... not all at once.