koko

ok.... how do i begin...

so this was the first week of classes. i go to the schools and do the classes. it's mostly introduction, and getting the little monsters used to the big monster. one of the schools wanted the local coordinator (helper lady) to come with on the first day, so that the kids could ask questions that would be translated.
the first group was 5th grade. good kids! a little bit older, so they were calm and well behaved. but young enough to be able to have some fun and participate. next was the 6th grade. bam. quiet. a lot harder to get these kids to participate and ask questions, but it's cool. after that was the third grade! now, i will only be regularly teaching 5th and 6th, but the school wanted the 3rd and 4th to get a chance to meet me too. well... these kids hadn't the time to sit on their bums and ask questions. after about ten minutes they wanted to show me. show me everything. "look what i can do!" *cartwheel* "look at me!" *does a split* etc. etc. really fun to watch though. =D after that was lunch, and after that...... well....

ok... 4th grade. i start it out like the other 3. 'My name is! My name is... My, Name, Is, Jason!' "dare?"(who?) yells one kid. everyone laughs. fak. it's off to a bad start. even the 3rd grade could sit and listen to me for a bit. i think it may have had something to do with their teachers. the 4th grade teacher was new and didn't have any control over the kids. well, that's cool! it's just one day, and they won't remember it after a day or two anyways. the goal isn't to teach these guys english in one day, it's to get them used to seeing me around the school. (although the teacher didn't realize that. he thought this was their great opportunity to learn some english! moron! one day and they will have skillz yeah!) so this class was chaos, but it didn't get to me. until...

sigh. ok lemme just go ahead and give some examples of the 'interview' section. the kids ask questions, they are translated if i can't understand them, and then i try to answer in japanese, and if i can't, then it's translated back to them. most questions were:
what's your favorite food?
what's your hated food?
do you like anime?
what's your favorite animal?
favorite color?
favorite food? (again)
i like apples.
etc. etc. etc.

they ask the questions, i answer. next class the kids ask the same, exact questions. ha ha... i'm already ready for that! how many times did i tell them my favorite food? (i just said ramen, because they can relate to it.) but then....
4th graders...
9 years old? 8 years old?
a little girl, sitting on the floor. she has the 'outgoing' look that 8% of the girls have. the rest stare at the floor or have the 'fear/surprise' look.

i like the outgoing look, when i see it i am relieved, because i really want the girls to participate. so seeing this girl, i think, 'sweet. i can use her to participate to keep the boys from getting to ask the same questions about sports the whole time'

so she asks some questions. one here, one there... about the fourth time i call on her.. she asks me a question that nobody had asked yet.

'what's your favorite body part?'
i don't know the japanese for 'body part' so all i heard was "favorite ***** what is?"
look to the translator. "ah... she asked... what is the favorite part of the body?"

'ooooh..... hmmmmmm.... wow, good question....' what the hell? hair? feet? is there an answer to this question? eyes? i'm trying to think fast. nose? i've got a big gaijin nose... i could say nose! that might be funny...? is this a normal question? what would they say?' normally when asked a question that i don't have an answer i ask it right back. "who is your favorite japanese baseball player?" 'ooh, who is YOURS?' "ooh, ichiro of course" 'wow, me too!' "oh.. cool" so i am standing there rubbing my chin for about 13 seconds, making the 'hrrmmn' sounds. too long. the crowd grows restless. some start talking. the translator has gone off and started talking to kids. wtf? the little girl is looking me right in the eyes with the 'outgoing look' and tilts here head and smiles. she pats her crotch with both hands, once, and then twice. 'Koko?' (here?) my brain turns around backwards in my skull.

awhaaaeaeeeewhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa???!????

i look at the translator. she's gone. i look around. everyone's playing. and some nine year old girl just asked me "here? this is your favorite body part?"

what. the. fuck!?

i was prepared for kancho, my bicycle butt is impervious to it!
i was prepared for kids who didn't care.
i was prepared for hyper Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Chidori Boy.
but i was not, prepared, for this.

funny shit.